idiocracy

we kill what we build because we own the sky

i have a really big problem with ignorant people. i like to think that i am a open person, someone with an open mind, and can allow myself to see both sides to any situation. i like to think that makes me a welcoming person. someone that anyone would feel comfortable talking to. that i am someone who will not judge you. no matter what it is you may have done or not done.

but there are some individuals that i just cannot tolerate. i wont say that their opinions don't matter, because that is the definition of an opinion, everyone has them. but the way that certain individuals blast their thoughts, feelings about politics, religion, freedom, and whatever else there is to debate, is disgusting.

to those of you who wish to spout on your racist/non-racist comments, i beg of you to think twice. because you are often times not well spoken, don't know proper English or grammar, and end up looking like a fool. and i pity you. and all of your friends who agree with the garbage that is coming out of your mouth. when you choose to make yourself heard, at least be big enough to spell check your words, and do it in an intelligent manner. I consider myself a lucky person not to have to associate with you on an every day basis.

to those of you who feel entitled to things, big or small, shame on you. because here's a little secret. you're not any better than the next person who thinks they deserve whatever it is they deserve. and thinking that you matter more, makes you a little person. Take your entitlement elsewhere. because it isn't welcome.

we have so much power as individuals that we take it to the extreme. and all of these great things that are within our reach, crumble because we feel so powerful that nothing will harm us. its time to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. because this i promise you, there is a bigger picture that your own little life. try caring about someone else's feelings for a change. and understand that once and while, when you spout out shit that you think is making a grand statement, that perhaps, it's not so grand. and in the end, it makes you look like the idiot.

victorious

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness. Like resignation to the end, always the end

A wise person recently told me that those relationships in your life that are meant to last, will conquer the hardest trials. Distance, heartache, and need will not destroy, but triumph. and holding on to this will help you to gain confidence and strength in yourself.

Nostalgia can be counterproductive. getting lost in what used to be, and being stuck in what you wish was true, but in reality, is something of your past, can be unhealthy. You can become addicted to this feeling of wanting, yearning, and desire for the relationships that used to be. As you move forward in your life, you will come to the realization that some relationships are unhealthy for you, and your best option is to move past them. It's frustrating. hard to accept. and sometimes, you may not want to accept it. But it's part of growing up.

Reaching out and admitting you need reassurance, a little love and tenderness from those who will never leave your side is something you shouldn't be ashamed of. apologizing for needing to hear the voice of those people that will help pick you up, are words you should never mutter. Because it is they who are ready to stand up to the plate to be that strength for you when you need them for. It is they who choose to be victorious and come out to bat for you. to do, to say, to be whatever it is you need them to be at those moments. The appreciation is unspoken, knowing that they can help you be yourself. and feel confident in who you are. and who you want to be. After all, what are friends for?

self worth

I am not a word, I am not a line, I am not a girl that can ever be defined

what are your feelings, and emotions worth to you. Is there a price tag that is steep enough to have you taking a step back and realizing, perhaps this isn't worth it. It's not in my budget to move forward with this. I'd be better off not spending my money on it. or, my efforts. courage. strength. and understanding.

i know what it's like to love someone who perhaps doesn't deserve it. but sometimes, it's all you got. yearning for any kind of attention, whether it's positive or negative is what the day becomes about. anything other than the monotonous thing called life. Whatever you have to do to stir the pot, to create some animosity, to create any sort of rift in the tide to remind yourself you care.

but then it hits. and you want to run away. which, is partially why you helped to create this situation in the first place. because you need a reason to escape. to find yourself again. because one day you wake up and you don't know where you went. and how to come back.

i want to go back. just for a moment. just for a day. for a week. i need to go back to be reminded that i can still be me, despite all the obligations that are now called life. i need a vacation from myself. to find myself again, to reassure myself that i exist somewhere in here. that the things that believe in, the people i believe in, that they believe in me too, and it's not just one sided. Because i hold on to these truths, and these facts deep down. and when i start to second guess everything that i know, i feel myself crumble, scrambling for something to hold on to. something, or someone that i used to know.

take it all

It's going to be an empty road without me right here beside you

It's back.

i couldn't ignore it forever. as much as i tried, as much as i forgot about it, and moved forward. it came back. the hollow emptiness that i have tried so hard to fill. but i know it can never be filled with anything but you.

i wish i could go back to those moments and relive them over and over again. and remember what it was like to feel like i mattered. things change. as much as i try to prevent them from doing so, reality kicks in and life moves on. you're forced to ride the current, or you'll drown. but once and a while you feel yourself treading water, standing still, and yearning to go backwards and make everything go away, but those moments.

where have you gone? where have we gone? i want to go back to the way things used to be. for you. for me. for us. i am so lost with where to go from here. the circle of life tells me one thing, my mind tells me another. will i always struggle with this conflict of what i think i want, and what im getting.

you choose the path you take. you do. and i know i won't always be your priority. i don't have the luxury of that, as much as i would relish it. but you're taking it all away. everything we had, when we only had each other. the overall situation, wasn't positive. but us... we were real. and established a bond that no one can break. no one, but ourselves.

you are taking it all away. and when you wake up out of your cookie cutter life, you will find out i'm no longer standing next to you. and you too will feel empty. and realize it was you who took it all away. you'll panic. feel that rush of sadness. and reach out. the difference is, when you cry for help... and i'll be running back to catch you.