Count on us all to follow our own swords tonight
Have you ever REALLY wanted to do something (or not do something) but know the consequences may be not worth taking action? How do you determine what route will lead you with the less regret? Brush the angel off your shoulder and follow the devil's lead. He is more of a badass anyway.
Where does it get you? honestly, doing what's RIGHT verses what you WANT? the gratification that you can make other people happy? Does it really matter if you yourself isn't happy? But what if your guilt drives you mad, and in the end, you aren't happy no matter what you choose?
Who determines what is right anyway? What if my right is your wrong? who chooses what is considered more important...?
I don't owe you anything. so why do i let the constant angel of reason into my head when i want to live my life and not sacrifice what i want for you... when you've done absolutely nothing in my favor. you mean nothing to me, and have proven that more than once.
but you do mean something to someone i care about. How selfish do i have to be to prove a point to myself and by doing so, hurting one of the people i love most.
Who wins this never ending battle of priorities and desires. Tonight... I will win. you need to surrender your ways, because I'm determined not to let you get the best of me. My courage will lead me victorious tonight. So i can fight another battle tomorrow.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
our war
It's like we learned our lesson. But conveniently forgot the rules
Sometimes there are people in your life that will make an impact on you when you least expect it. that person that has always had a place in your heart that you don't really know how to put your finger on what it is they do to you. it's that something that you're fine without, until you remember it again. then, it comes back at full force constantly on your mind. but it's difficult, because you don't even know what it is you're looking for.
You danced around the truth since day one, it's one of those things that will always be there... one of those things you wont understand because you never had the courage to explore what it meant. whatever it is. sometimes, you underestimate each other, and get caught off guard as to how much you care, and how much more you want from that person.
the war we continue to go through can't be compared to the one you have faced first hand. but you will continue to fight your own war in your own way. a way most likely no one will never understand. it's probably more complex than what it is. but it's those moments where you face surprise that makes you take a step back and wonder how much goes on in your mind about the past.
there are no rules. there never have been. if there were, maybe this would make sense and there would be less sidestepping and more communication.
Sometimes there are people in your life that will make an impact on you when you least expect it. that person that has always had a place in your heart that you don't really know how to put your finger on what it is they do to you. it's that something that you're fine without, until you remember it again. then, it comes back at full force constantly on your mind. but it's difficult, because you don't even know what it is you're looking for.
You danced around the truth since day one, it's one of those things that will always be there... one of those things you wont understand because you never had the courage to explore what it meant. whatever it is. sometimes, you underestimate each other, and get caught off guard as to how much you care, and how much more you want from that person.
the war we continue to go through can't be compared to the one you have faced first hand. but you will continue to fight your own war in your own way. a way most likely no one will never understand. it's probably more complex than what it is. but it's those moments where you face surprise that makes you take a step back and wonder how much goes on in your mind about the past.
there are no rules. there never have been. if there were, maybe this would make sense and there would be less sidestepping and more communication.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
the catalyst
We're a broken people living under loaded gun
it's a powerful feeling. when you feel that feeling you know exists, but comes and goes when you least expect it. the chemistry. the reaction. the outcome. the best part: knowing the outcome will only effect your every day life for the better.
it's a powerful feeling... knowing you can make things happen... just by being you. not only is it a powerful thing... but a comforting thing. a sense of reassurance comes over you that makes you burst at the seams. all your insecurities disappear. even if it's for that moment. you can feel like the prettiest, the best, and the most important person in someone's life.
it's a powerful feeling... knowing you are modifying the rate of the every day life of an individual, even if it's just for a moment. and increased reaction because of unspoken chemistry is confirmed and the reassurance starts all over again.
we may all be broken. but have the courage to attempt to fix someone. when you get a glimpse of succeeding in that... it's then you realize when you attempt to fix someone else, you end up fixing yourself.
it's a powerful feeling. when you feel that feeling you know exists, but comes and goes when you least expect it. the chemistry. the reaction. the outcome. the best part: knowing the outcome will only effect your every day life for the better.
it's a powerful feeling... knowing you can make things happen... just by being you. not only is it a powerful thing... but a comforting thing. a sense of reassurance comes over you that makes you burst at the seams. all your insecurities disappear. even if it's for that moment. you can feel like the prettiest, the best, and the most important person in someone's life.
it's a powerful feeling... knowing you are modifying the rate of the every day life of an individual, even if it's just for a moment. and increased reaction because of unspoken chemistry is confirmed and the reassurance starts all over again.
we may all be broken. but have the courage to attempt to fix someone. when you get a glimpse of succeeding in that... it's then you realize when you attempt to fix someone else, you end up fixing yourself.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Chasing Pavements
you should know you're just a temporary fix
Why is it the things you desire to be permanent aren't and those that aren't you wish they were? why must everything always be so backwards. things are never going to stop. even when your feet are both standing on solid ground, an earthquake will shake you free from your stability. you can run until you can't run anymore, chasing what it is you are searching for, but you will continue to run on the inevitable neverending pavement.
There's no dead end when it comes to choices. You may have to put things in reverse and backtrack, but there is never nowhere to go. Your options may not be as you desire, and perhaps A, B, and C all call for hardships, hurt feelings, amongst other things. but the hope is never lost. especially, when you remember that its your life your living. no one else. That hope...even when it's been buried for so long you forgot what it feels like. It will reappear. and, even though you know that it will almost 100 percent never happen, you can get lost in a dream when it was at one time, possible, plausible, and reachable. It may seem depressing to even get lost in that world, but, if you set your mind to it, you can make it your reality for a while. and the excitement builds up as you consider your possibilities. It is a temporary fix. one of the things you wish was permanent. but it's not.
But just because the chances of it never happening are high... there's always that glimmer of hope that something will go your way and you can take the opportunity you never thought you'd have again. the one you ignored when it was screaming in your face to take it.
When you get that second chance, don't make it a temporary reality. make it a neverending one.
Why is it the things you desire to be permanent aren't and those that aren't you wish they were? why must everything always be so backwards. things are never going to stop. even when your feet are both standing on solid ground, an earthquake will shake you free from your stability. you can run until you can't run anymore, chasing what it is you are searching for, but you will continue to run on the inevitable neverending pavement.
There's no dead end when it comes to choices. You may have to put things in reverse and backtrack, but there is never nowhere to go. Your options may not be as you desire, and perhaps A, B, and C all call for hardships, hurt feelings, amongst other things. but the hope is never lost. especially, when you remember that its your life your living. no one else. That hope...even when it's been buried for so long you forgot what it feels like. It will reappear. and, even though you know that it will almost 100 percent never happen, you can get lost in a dream when it was at one time, possible, plausible, and reachable. It may seem depressing to even get lost in that world, but, if you set your mind to it, you can make it your reality for a while. and the excitement builds up as you consider your possibilities. It is a temporary fix. one of the things you wish was permanent. but it's not.
But just because the chances of it never happening are high... there's always that glimmer of hope that something will go your way and you can take the opportunity you never thought you'd have again. the one you ignored when it was screaming in your face to take it.
When you get that second chance, don't make it a temporary reality. make it a neverending one.
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