Repressed

Everything has been said before. There's nothing left to say anymore when it's all the same

i revisited my past yesterday. and by my past, i mean, months ago. it's crazy to think how much things can change within only a few months time. what makes me sad is that things slip through my fingers that i cannot control. and, what makes it worse, is i dont even realize it is happening. or has happened. then, it makes me sad. because i want to saviour the moments. and, a lot of times i dont realize they are worth saviouring until they are gone.

but as much as things change, somethings seem to stay the same. stagnate. why does it seem like the things that should change, are the ones that dont? and the things that do... are the things that i dont want to?

i really am falling into this. im living inside my head. more and more each day. my feelings/thoughts aren't legit. or, i feel like they aren't. i have no right to feel a certain way sometimes. and it annoys me that i do. i can only replay the thoughts and emotions so many times without sounding repetitive. so why even tallk anymore. there's no point in talking. not when it's the same story over and over again. only i can change the ending.