true colors

accept no one's definition of your life. define yourself.

it's amazing what you learn from taking a step back and looking at the big picture from a distance, whether than up close and personal. sometimes, as hard as it may seem, you need to remove yourself from the current situation and focus on you. and your needs. and where you fit in.

especially when things that you have been scared of accepting, and pushing to the back of your mind every time they show any hint of appearing, suddenly become your reality.

reality is a scary thing. especially when you know it's going to be changing for the long haul. no matter how hard you try to stop it from happening, eventually time takes over and that moment you have been forcing to the back of your mind is directly in your hands.

and you are scared shitless.

what happens now... what happens to my life, to everything that i have, everything i want to have. suddenly, im totally spiraling out of control because i realize i never had any control to begin with.

in that moment... that's the moment your true colors show. but only to those people you trust utterly and completely with everything you have. it's those moments when you need them in your life more than ever. It's those moments where they need to be able to read your mind and know that they need to play the best friend card, because, they are on call.

I want to define myself as one of those people. one of those people that can be depended on during these life changing moments. or, any conflicting upsetting, depressing, or happy moment in my friends lives. i want to define myself as being that person who is the first person on my friend's mind when something of this nature happens, and they need me. whether it's for moral support. whether it's for advice. or most importantly, whether it's because it's ME they need.

I hope that somewhere out there, people think about me the way that i think about them. I know my definition is strong and true of what a friend is. and my true colors will outshine all the time when it comes to being there for the people i care about.