Changing of the seasons

Can't help myself but count the flaws. Claw my way out through these walls. One temporary escape.

Driving the same route to work day after day, its impossible not to see the metaphoric change within the seasons. It's only July, and Fall is already creeping up with the growth of corn and other crops. it makes me itch with anticipation, knowing that all i need to do is blink, and everything has changed. Summer days are getting shorter already, and our sunlight is fading fast. Its like, all of a sudden you're living in one of the Earth movies, where the concept of birth, growth, and death happens in a matter of seconds, thanks to the new aged media technology.

Only, there is no technology that is speeding up the process of your own life. The seasons only represent the concept of time, that days, months, years, are passing, and there's nothing stopping them. They prove the point that nothing is permanent. Your sunbathing and enjoying the chaos around you, not thinking twice about what's next. because right now, summer is here. and all you care about is what is happening in that moment.

Until everything about your happy day turns on you within a blink of an eye. Suddenly, you're faced with a downpour of a storm, where mother nature is says fuck you, and laughs in your face for thinking for one second you could be happy. Despite the stubbornness of letting go and saying goodbye to summer, and hello to fall, or what have you... most people can find something to like about that moment in time. whether it's the snow. christmas, or family in the winter, or ice cream, bike rides, and sunbathing in the summer. There are things that you like... that you want... from each time of the year.

Sometimes, there are things you like, want, desire from different aspects of your life. does it make you extremely fucked up to want to live two entirely separate lives? That you can see the pros and cons of both options at your fingertips, but it's impossible to choose just one? You don't get to choose your season. You may have a favorite. but it doesnt last forever.

Maybe that's to be said about the people in your life. Your favorites make you happier than you ever thought possible. the feelings they can provoke in you, the power that they have to make them be constantly on your mind in one way or another, and all you can do is hope that maybe they are thinking about you for a second in return. and that everything you feel and want, isn't just going to waste, because all of a sudden the physical presence has been resorted to limited proximity.  But maybe... it fades for a reason. and maybe, you just need to move forward with what's right in front of you and accept the fact that society and modern day expectations are what you need to meet. The falsehood of what you feel is infuriating, but because of lifes turmoil and expectations and what have you, it's the only way you can survive is to fulfill and meet the needs of what is right in front of you. Even if you yearn to be free.

But who's to say the freedom would increase the smiles. Perhaps, the favoritism, and haunting feelings are only present because they can be. because, it's not something that can be at your fingertips all the time. because, it's just a temporary escape. and if it was a constant season... there would be no turning back. But how many times do you have to rest assured with what you have known for so long, not allowing yourself to even try to fail. Perhaps, that's the biggest failure of all.