Nirvana

In the lonely hour, I need you, I need you.

i have extinguished so much of my former self. shed the skin of the girl i was and desperately tried to be for everyone, including myself. fighting the fight, pushing through the hardships. struggling to meet expectations, not just everyone elses. but deep down, my own.

some days it's haunting the imperturbable stillness of my mind considering my state of being for over a year. the stress. physically, emotionally. But despite the struggles, the hurt... i have found myself on the other side. a better side.  a better me. 

The blissfulness of my own little world is a reality check for me sometimes. can i truly be satisfied as to who i am becoming all by myself? can i dare to say that i'm happy at the person that i'm becoming, and the real me is finally shining through? Can other people see? or is it just so subtle that only I can see the difference. 

it doesnt take much. just a small slight of hand, a simple change in your every day life that can put you on a path where you can embrace who you are and who you want to be. 

that being said... there's always the lonely hour. those moments where you need. crave. want. the love, the comfort the something from someone. your vulnerability grows and is suddenly eating away at you. so much that it can tear away your insides. you don't just want. you NEED. 

as much as you  need to take this journey for yourself, to be true to who you are, don't put your blinders on so you can't see the people around you who will always always care about you. those people who would drop everything to do anything for you. never take for granted those who love you during the good times and the bad. just because you may have found a solid ground to move forward, don't forget about those who helped you pave the way.