And when you're needing your space, to do some navigating, I'll be here patiently waiting, To see what you find
The problem with wanting your independence is putting your guard down and letting someone in. the minute you let someone in you allow them to hurt you. by keeping them at arms reach, it's easier to move forward. to focus on you. to be you.
what happens when no matter what boundaries you put in place. no matter how clear the expectations are. that you crumble and find yourself falling so quickly its like you don't know if the parachute will open when you reach the bottom?
the fears of letting yourself open up. letting yourself fall. letting yourself feel. letting yourself be vulnerable and think about someone other than yourself is the most gratifying and scary feeling in the world.
what if it ends. what if it stops. there's no crystal ball. is it easier to just go through life on your own without the risk of hurting someone. of getting hurt. how do you just let yourself live in the moment when in the back of your head you're wondering if the high, the intoxication, the level of desire and wants and understanding will one day just stop? how do you let yourself depend on someone in those ways? without fear of them disappearing. or your feelings disappearing. how do you know. how to you keep it close. how do you hold on.
its happened. ive felt it. it makes me feel like i can't blink. because once i do, those moments will be forever gone and simply memories.
how do i keep from letting it happen again?
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