need me.

What hurts so much is knowing we are free


im anxious. unsettled. i dont like today. i feel so unraveled. i dont know why. it keeps getting stronger. i want to escape this. i want out. i want to feel something other than nerves and unexplained anger and sadness.

i let things bother me too much. things that aren't even my control. things that aren't even my life's worry. but i make them mine. and get attached. too attached. and feel the falling. when it falls. and falls. and falls.

i cant keep the tears in. and i dont know who they are falling for. myself, or you. if they are angry tears, or sad tears. if they are angry, its my fault. because i let myself get this way. because i am selfish about silly things. things that i definitely shouldn't be selfish about. if i cared as much as i claim to, i wouldn't be upset by lame reasons.

it's just my stupid need for reassurance. and gratification. the desperation to know that im worth it. that i'm somebody. that im different than the next person. that i offer more than the next person. that i'm not just another person.

the need to be needed.