flashback

Step out in a crazy world but then the sun resets your mind

i normally relate nostalgia to good memories. like, past feelings, emotions, experiences that i wish back. that i could live over again.

today, my nostalgia was anything but.

it sorta happened throughout the day... bittersweet. almost wishful. until the painful reminder about how that whole situation turned out.

but it was later when it really struck me hard. when i least expected it. the... remembering of the part i try to forget. that i pretty much HAD forgotten. it came crashing down. and i pretty much hated myself. and you. for making me feel that way. even tho i know you would have no idea. you would have no idea in the first place, because i would never have shared how it made me feel then. so why would you have any idea now.

to be fair, its not really your fault, but mine. i control my reactions and how i respond to things. no one else has that control. so, i can't be that upset. it was just a flashback. to a feeling i dont really like to remember. so, i'll just hit reset. and erase that part. it's what i do best.