Find your happy.

Looked in my heart but my heart was empty. Looked to the ground but the road was long
And now I've found my new salvation. It's so new, the old one's young


Hi.
my name is rachel and i am a completely different person than i was when i started writing this blog back in 2009.

Well, maybe not completely. but. in many ways. i have shed the skin of the girl i was then. or at least, am in the process.  and have embraced the girl that i want to be. the girl that was hidden in the anonymity of many of the blog posts. the cries. the struggles. the hurt. the loneliness. 

its funny. one would think living on your own and stepping out into a world and essentially being born again would be the scariest, loneliness feeling in the world. for me? it's liberating. I'd much rather be alone by myself, rather than feel alone with someone 24/7. 

as i jump start this writing venture, i'm making myself accountable. to be a better me. to not get trapped like i did throughout my whole life. to be confident. strong. and tell those whom i care about how much i care about them. let them know how much i love them. and to fuck everyone else who doesn't give a shit. 

its a major challenge for me to put myself out there in a way that i hid behind in the past. but damn it, if there's one thing i've learned is that no one is going to live your life for you. So you might as well embrace it. live it. make mistakes. own up to who you are. dont be afraid to be who you are to others. and reach out to those who care. reach out to those who you can claim as your confidant. reach out and allow yourself to depend on those who love you unconditionally. because if it weren't for those people in your corner, you may not be able to finish the fight. 

i'll be in your corner. i'll root for you, and i'll encourage you, and i'll be your biggest cheerleader. if it means you're listening to yourself. and being honest. and living the life you want to live. Be your own salvation. Find your happy. 

x